i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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