So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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