Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
