There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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