In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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