I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize