I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
