The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
