My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
