Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
