sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
