I wish I could teleport
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
