Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
