you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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