The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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