The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
