im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
