its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
