found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
