I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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