If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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