I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
