Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
