I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
