oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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