You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He has the fingertips of a God
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
