Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize