their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
