Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
accomplished twins. life is a go
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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