you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
