you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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