i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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