If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the day after is always just damage control
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
