Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
