You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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