Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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