So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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