My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
