it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
