Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
