i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
