her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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