Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
