im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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