i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
