So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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