Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
