Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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