When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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