She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
