Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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