You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize