question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
