i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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