I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
