lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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