this just has baby written all over it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
