So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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