Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
