So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i would punch a child for taco bell
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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