It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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