I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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