I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
