for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh god it's open bar.
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