so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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