I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Small penises have feelings too.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am mentally ready for anal.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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