Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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