dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
