Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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