I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
