You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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